Examples of subtle homophobia, heterosexism, and sexism
My Women of Color in the U.S. instructor passed out a sheet last Thursday night with the following list. I couldn’t find a link to it anywhere online, so I thought I’d reproduce it here. These are very helpful reminders:
Examples of subtle homophobia, heterosexism, and sexism
by Rheua S. Stakely
- Assume everyone you meet is probably heterosexual.
- Never say or have trouble saying the words ‘lesbian. gay, bisexual’.
- Begin sentences with “I’m straight but ..”
- Think homosexuality is just a phase, a lifestyle, a choice, a preference.
- Use the terms lesbian, gay, or bisexual (hereafter collectively known as LesBiGay) as accusatory.
- Keep your distance from LesBiGays for fear of being labeled one yourself.
- Are outspoken about LesBiGay rights, but make sure everyone knows you are straight.
- When you hear the words lesbian or gay you immediately think of SEX and that sexuality is being ‘flaunted’. When you hear the words marriage, husband, or wife, you immediately think of LOVE or you don’t even notice that sexuality is being declared.
- Don’t ask about you LesBiGay friends’ lovers/partners although you regularly ask about the wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend when you run into a heterosexual friend.
- Tell or laugh at a homophobic joke so you don’t get called names or laughed at too.
- Feel repulsed by stereotypical gay men and lesbians.
- Don’t confront a homophobic remark for fear of being identified as a LesBi Gay yourself.
- Kiss an old friend, but are afraid to shake hands with, hug, or kiss a LesBiGay friend.
- Feel repulsed by public displays of affection between lesbians or gay men, but accept the same affectional displays between heterosexuals.
- Assume that all lesbians are ‘butch’ and gay men are effeminate.
- Feel that a lesbian is just a woman who can’t find a good man.
- Stereotype lesbians as ‘man-haters’, separatists, or radicals. Use those terms accusingly.
- Wonder which one is the ‘man’ in a lesbian couple and which one is the ‘woman’ in a gay male couple.
- Feel that LesBiGays are too outspoken about gay rights.
- Fail to be supportive when your LesBiGay friend is sad about a quarrel or breakup.
- Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a women’s organization because you are afraid they will think you are a lesbian.
- Expect a lesbian to change her public identic or affectional habits or mode of dress to work on feminist issues.
- Change your seat in a meeting because a LesBiGay person sits in the chair next yours.
- Think that if a LesBiGay touches you they are making sexual advances.
- Look at a lesbian or a gay man and automatically think of their sexuality rather than seeing them as whole, complete person.
March 7th, 2005 at 1:52 pm
Should #20 read “Fail to be supportive…”
March 8th, 2005 at 11:38 am
International Women’s Day
March 8th, 2005 at 9:20 pm
One part that I would question would be people who want to make sure everyone knows they are straight. There are some people who are single and hoping to hook up who are always making sure that everyone knows they are available (somehow the phrase “I’m single” seems to come up in every conversation they have).
Such a person might worry that if they make a comment about gay rights and others assumed they were gay, they might miss out on a romantic opportunity. I’m not saying that this would apply to everyone who says “I’m straight but . . .”, but it would apply to some.
March 9th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Joan, I see what you’re saying. However, I think people should be conscious such that they don’t make such a point of their straightness that it comes across like a putdown to non-straights. I’m sure you agree.
March 10th, 2005 at 12:43 am
I see your point.
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