what, no hellfire?
Yes, this has been out for a few days, but I finally read the whole thing: “Where Is My Gay Apocalypse? Over 3,500 gay marriages and, what, no hellfire? I was promised hellfire. And riots. What gives?”
Where is my raging apocalypse? This is what I want to know. Where is the social meltdown? The moral depravity? I was promised an apocalypse, dammit. What am I supposed to do with all these tubs of margarine and confetti and kazoos?
There have been more than 3,500 gay-marriage ceremonies in San Francisco so far. Hundreds more are just now kicking up a storm in Oregon and in beautifully rebellious little burgs around New York state. And, yet, nothing. No chaos. No reign of terror. Not even a lousy heat wave. Sigh.
HAHAHAHAAAAA! *wheeze*
Tammy said,
March 9, 2004 @ 7:43 am
Nobody put a time frame on Gods judgement. It will happen. The people laughed at Noah when he told them they were going to be destroyed by a flood. It took 40 years but God did destroy them. I wouldn’t be wheezing with laughter if I were you!
Emily said,
March 9, 2004 @ 12:17 pm
It’s probably pretty clear I don’t take the Bible literally like you do, Tammy. You’re welcome to use your religious/cultural myths and traditions if they empower you, I’ll use mine.
I believe there is no inherent definition of marriage (i.e. “man + woman”); its very design is a flexible sociocultural interpretation. Just look at tens of thousands of years of human history and the structure of the family - it’s highly adaptable, flexible, and contextual.
Although I do want to add, if there’s any apocalypse in store, it’ll be as a result of human beings’ ruinous ecological practices. Now THAT I can see coming at the rate we’re going.
Jeremy said,
March 9, 2004 @ 1:07 pm
I really liked the last paragraph of Mark’s column.
“Horrors bled into the streets, terrorists were spawned by the thousand, presidents openly lied so as to lead a nation into bloody violent unwinnable wars, thousands of Catholic priests sexually molested tens of thousands of children over a 50-year period without the slightest punishment, the environment teetered on the brink due to heartless government rollbacks as air quality and water quality and food sources were ravaged in the name of corporate profiteering, the economy crumbled like Jenna Bush after her 10th beer bong as hate and fear and bogus Orange Alerts ruled the land.”
Oh wait. That was all before the gay-marriage thing. My bad.
Jeremy said,
March 9, 2004 @ 1:14 pm
Tammy,
Frankly, I would be a lot more concerned about the rate and intensity at which God’s creation is being sacrificed one piece at at time on the high altar of greed and convenience.
Pamela said,
March 9, 2004 @ 9:31 pm
Um, let’s see, I’ve been hearing predictions about the second coming of Christ as imminent since back in the day when I went to “that kind” of church in the 80’s. All signs pointed toward death, destruction, and the lion laying down with the lamb by 1984.
It’s like a newspaper horoscope, you regurgitate the same spiel enough, and it’ll come true for someone.
That’s NOT what Christian principles are about, and any truly forgiving and kind Christian, or Hindu or athiest (whatever) believes in love, an ethic of caring, and the good works we can offer our fellow inhabitants of this planet–no matter what the sex of one’s marriage partner.
I’m so happy about same-sex marriage, I am glad that we are saying “yes” to the benefits of partnership for EVERYONE.
And I agree, Emily and Jeremy, I worry every night about how much weight we can put on our planets shoulders before it collapses.