Transformation
Some stuff has been opening up for me lately. A few weekends ago at ILP in San Francisco, I gave up suffering. Just gave it up. Now every time I find the thoughts around “life is miserable” “it isn’t fair” “i don’t know how to love my life” etc… coming into my head, I notice, but then don’t swim it and don’t let those thoughts convince me not to be in action around creating joy and peace and love in my life. It’s about time: I’m really sick and tired of automatically going to “life sucks”.
I know very well what there is to do/how there is to be to enjoy my life - my story about life being miserable and me being helpless in the face of that is what stands in the way of me getting on the ball. So, practically speaking, what’s come out of giving up the suffering is a lot more accomplished than before. My integrity is there more often; I’m my word to what I said I’d do more frequently. I’m actually having a crisis when I try to procrastinate these days - I can barely stand it. Today at lunch, I finally bought midi cables to connect my computer to my keyboard after having Cakewalk recording software for over a year. Over the weekend I called a few people I’d been putting off. My relationship with Jer has been smoother and more loving - I’m just much straighter with him; less whiny and upset when I don’t get my way with him.
I’m consistently amazed at what the Landmark distinctions open up for me. I’m coming to realize, like for REAL, the possibilities of this education in the world. Like, what would it look like if people were participating left and right. I can’t even believe sometimes the difference the courses have made in my life the past two years. My stand that everyone see the power of doing the Forum is huge, and I constantly have to give up attachment to people doing it. It’s just that with our world the way it is and the degree to which people are looking for peace and unity and joy, I want to flag everyone down and shout, “Here it is - a weekend course that can open all of that up!!”
I just had to go public with all of that. LOL As for other news, I look forward to getting back to recording and I’ll post music on my site as I churn it out!